Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
