he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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