ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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