I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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