Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Randomize
