I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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