okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
