i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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