North Korea, Best Korea!
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize