just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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