If i come over, it means nothing
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
