who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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