Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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