What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
