After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
