Soap is not a condiment
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
