idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
