My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
