Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize