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Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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