i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
