the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
