okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
