Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
