turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
