I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
