Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
