Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize