Your mouth is God's brothel.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
