My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
