brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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