it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
