ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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