Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
