can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Do vagina's smell?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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