Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
