I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
