Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
