her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
