white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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