false alarm. still invincible.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
