There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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