In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
