I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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