Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize