dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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