Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
