Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize