Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
