I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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