You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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