dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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