Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
