Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
where am i from again
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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