My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Sorry about my life...
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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