Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I just gargled with NyQuil
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
