Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize