Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
