wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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