Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
